Caring for Your 9 to 11-Year-Old

As children move through the school years they get better at managing matters like homework and school projects. They should be able to take on more responsibilities. If there are concerns about behavior during these years, your pediatric healthcare provider can reassure you that your child is behaving normally or make necessary suggestions.

In early adolescence, your child may begin to notice body changes. Children often have a black and white way of thinking. Things are often right or wrong, great or terrible. They are often self-conscious about their appearance and feel judged.

• Answer your child’s questions about his or her changing body. Your child’s healthcare provider can help you start a conversation about puberty and sex. There are also several good kid-friendly, age-appropriate books on the subject that you can review with your child. Feel free to talk ask your Rainbow provider for some suggestions.
• Give your child a chance to show what they are capable of doing. Allow them to contribute around the house without being checked on all the time. Assign reasonable chores. Be specific in your instructions. It is best to introduce one new task at a time. Give praise about the job that was well done.
• You might also consider assigning jobs. Keep in mind that chores are responsibilities and not things that we get paid to do. You might have other ’jobs’ that you can assign for which you will pay your child. But be specific in the instructions and in how they will get paid, perhaps with a pre-determined bonus for going above and beyond.
• Develop a family media plan that includes school work, gaming, and social relationships. Create tech free zones like family mealtimes and social gatherings.
• Look to organizations like Common Sense Media for reviews about age-appropriate apps, games, and programs to guide you in making best choices for your children.
• During the preteen years, the brain’s ability to plan a set of plays or course of action and store that plan is now good enough for a child to improve in all sports.
• Having exposure to many different sports and activities at this time is important because your child can learn various skills and discover what they enjoy.
• Hygiene is increasingly important. Daily bathing should be encouraged and older children may need to begin using deodorant.

• Eat meals together as a family, whenever possible.
• Try reinforcing what was learned during health education by taking your child shopping and having them make healthy food choices.
• Keep your child’s sugar consumption at moderate levels. Sugar has plenty of calories, but it adds very little nutritional value. Fruit is a good source of complex carbohydrates and makes a good snack.
• To help assure your child is getting the recommended amount of fruits and vegetables each day visit myplate.gov.
• You will find HealthyChildren.org a great resource for healthy food information. In ages & stages look at the Grade School Nutrition section where there is extensive information and suggestions to help you.

• Hug and praise your child for behaving well, being polite and trying hard in school.
• Natural and logical consequences remain a useful way to discipline an older child. A logical consequence of not doing homework is getting a bad grade but it may include loss of video game privileges.
• Set reasonable and consistent limits. When using discipline, the priority is to teach and protect your child, not to punish.
• Be a role model for your child. Show your child how to use appropriate words when angry. Suggest a time-out when your child is upset. A short period away may provide time to calm down.

• Ensure that your child brushes his or her teeth twice a day, using toothpaste with fluoride. Daily flossing is encouraged.
• Permanent teeth will grow in place of the baby teeth that are falling out. Your child should see a dentist every six months for routine checkups.
• If possible, your child should wear a mouth guard during contact sports.

• Supervise your child while playing with friends. Know who your child spends time with, inside and outside of school.
• At this age, your child will do more things away from home. You will have to remind your child how to be safe.
• Children should wear appropriate, made for that sport, equipment when playing sports.
• Use sunscreen when spending time outdoors.
• Your child should only be in or around water when there is supervision. Swim lessons are encouraged.
• A helmet should be worn when riding a bike, skiing, sledding, ice skating, horseback riding, skateboarding, and in-line skating.
• Teach your child how to be safe with other adults. Explain that no one (outside of trusted caregivers and physicians) should ask to see your child’s “private parts” or ask your child to see theirs. Use appropriate language such as penis and vagina. Encourage children not to keep secrets from parents.
• Educate your child about the dangers of cigarettes, alcohol and drug use. Your child’s doctor can help you with this conversation, but it is important for your children to know they can come to you with any questions.
• If you have a gun in your home, be sure the ammunition is kept separately from the weapon and that these are both kept safely locked away.
• Teach your child how and when to dial 9-1-1. Make a family emergency plan, for instance, in the event of a house fire.
• The back seat of the vehicle is the safest place for children under 13 years old. All passengers should wear a seat and shoulder belt. Parents should serve as a role model and always buckle up.