Health Information
Caring for Your 4-Year-Old
- Language and Social Development
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- You may add books with longer stories, fairy tales and legends to your reading together. Find books about things they like and relate the stories to their own experiences. Let your child see you read, visit the library for story time, ask them to tell you a story. Help them identify letters, especially in their own name. Provide the opportunity to draw, write and learn letter sounds.
- Having conversations with your 4-year-old is important for social and language development. Ask your child to tell you about the favorite part of his or her day.
- Your child should be using grown up words. Help them use the correct words and phrases.
- Be patient while your child forms thoughts in sentences. Repeating words and phrases can be normal. Try not to interrupt. Repeating sounds could be a sign of stuttering and is something you should discuss with your pediatrician.
- Find opportunities to model behaviors, such as patience, respect and remorse, when appropriate.
- At this age, games like I Spy engage your child in learning about colors and shapes. Jigsaw puzzles are a great way to promote hand-eye coordination and problem-solving skills. Playing dress-up encourages imaginative thought.
- Don’t feel pressured to introduce technology early. Children can learn it quickly.
- Limit screen time to one hour or less each day of age-appropriate programs. Choose media that is interactive, non-violent, educational and prosocial like “Sesame Street”. Co-view with your child.
- Encourage your child’s creativity with activities, such as drawing, building and imaginative play. Children should not have a T.V. in the bedroom, even if it is turned off.
- Children benefit from interaction with same-age peers. Play dates, play groups, classes and preschool should be part of a weekly routine.
- Set aside time to actively play with your child. Regular physical activity is fun and healthy for the entire family.
- Here are some games your child may love to play with you suggested on healthychildren.org:
- Duck, Duck, Goose
- London Bridge is Falling Down
- Limbo
- Egg Races
- Simon Says
- Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes
- Follow the Leader
- Tag
- Healthy Bodies
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- Plan regular family mealtimes. Offer healthy, kid-friendly options at every meal.
- When children get a variety of foods they get a healthy balance of the vitamins they need to grow. Healthy options include dairy, lean proteins (beans, chicken, turkey, fish, lean hamburgers, tofu, eggs), and whole-grain cereals and bread.
- The best drinks are milk and water. Avoid soda, tea, coffee, sports drinks, juice and flavored drinks.
- It is okay if children do not eat everything on their plates. They will need smaller servings. Allow them to choose their own serving size.
- Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep at night which for most children 3 – 5 years is 10 – 13 hours including naps.
- Routines and Discipline
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- Teach your child how to calm down. A good example is to show them how to take a few deep breaths with you.
- You can give yourself a time out. If you feel out of control by your child’s behavior, make sure your child is safe and walk away. Then, come back and start over.
- Research shows that spanking, slapping and other forms of physical punishment don’t work well to correct behavior. The same holds true for yelling or shaming. Beyond not working, it can damage a child’s long term physical and mental health.
- Give your child a lot of attention when they are doing something you like. Remove your attention when they are doing something you do not like.
- An easy way to reinforce good behavior is to describe it for them. Good job listening. Good job using your inside voice.
- Give praise, give frequent loving touches. Say things like, Great job sitting so still while we are playing.
- Let your child help with simple chores.
- Set reasonable and consistent limits. When using discipline, the priority is to teach and protect your child, not to punish.
- Lay out consequences. Example: calmly explain that if they do not pick up their toys, you will put them away and they will not get them back for a certain amount of time. Then, do not give them back the toys until the time you said they could not have them. Be consistent and always follow through. Never take away something they truly need, like a meal.
- Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Explain and show the behavior you expect. Whenever you tell them no, follow up with what should be done instead.
- Predictable routines help your child feel safe. Try to create a daily routine and a consistent bedtime routine, perhaps with a calm bath and a book.
- Help transitions by giving advanced warning: “We need to go in 5 minutes.”
- Oral Health
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- Use a toothbrush with a pea-sized amount of toothpaste to clean your child’s teeth twice a day.
- See the dentist every six months for routine checkups.
- Safety
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- Always supervise your child in the house, car, yard, and when at play near driveways, streets and water.
- Helmets must be worn when riding a bike, even with training wheels.
- Teach your child about stranger danger and how to be safe with other adults.
- No one (outside of trusted caregivers and healthcare providers) should ask to see your child’s “private parts” or ask for your child to see theirs. Teach your child not to keep secrets from parents.
- Chemicals (like lawn and cleaning supplies) and medications can be tempting for little ones to explore. Be sure these are kept locked and out of reach from your toddler’s curious hands. For poison emergencies and questions, call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222.
- If you have a gun in your home, be sure the ammunition is kept separately from the weapon and that these are both kept safely locked away.
- Children who have outgrown the rear-facing weight or height limit for their convertible seat should use a forward-facing seat, with a harness, in the rear of the vehicle, for as long as possible, up to the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seat manufacturer. Children whose weight or height exceeds the forward-facing limit for their car safety seat should use a belt-positioning booster seat.
This document contains general parenting information based on American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations and is not meant to replace the expert advice of your pediatrician.