Caring for Your 12 to 14-Year-Old

Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. There are many changes to the way your child relates to the world which may bring anticipation and even anxiety for both children and parents.

• Children this age often start to grow more quickly. When body changes start to occur, reassure your child that these changes are part of normal human development. Leave room for questions.
• Answer your child’s questions about his or her changing body. Your child’s doctor can help you start a conversation about puberty and sex. There are also several age-appropriate books on the subject that you can review together. Ask your Rainbow provider for some suggestions.
• Honor independence and individuality and remind your child that you are there to help when needed. You should set limits with high (but reasonable) expectations. Balance your set limits for curfews, school engagement, media use and behavior with expanding opportunities for more independence over time. Reward responsible behavior with increasing levels of independence.
• Teens are more likely to have positive friendships when they have good relationships with their parents. A “good relationship” is defined as one in which the child and parents get involved in activities together, talk frequently, and express affection for one another.
• Set aside time each day to interact with your child.
• Regular physical activity is fun and healthy. A fitness program should include aerobic exercise like brisk walking, basketball, bicycling – any continuous exercise that increases heart rate. Adolescents’ bones respond to weight bearing exercise.
• All children this age should be bathing daily and wearing deodorant.

• Eat meals together as a family whenever possible.
• Ensure your child eats breakfast every day.
• The teen body requires more calories during early adolescence than any other time in life.
• Not all carbs are equal. Complex carbohydrate foods provide sustained energy. Remind your child that marathon runners and other athletes eat complex carbs like pasta before competition. Limit sweets.
• Encourage your child to read food labels. Check to see that there is enough vitamin D and calcium in the diet.
• Offer fruits and vegetables at meals and as snacks. Be sure your child is drinking low-fat milk or eating dairy products to maintain good growth, and healthy bones and teeth.
• Discuss the use of nutrition sports supplements with your child’s doctor.
• Be a role model for your child by making healthy choices.

• Show your child how to manage pressure and peacefully settle disputes. Encourage open discussion and refrain from being judgmental.
• Help your child stay organized with school assignments to begin a smooth transition that gives him or her responsibility for schoolwork.
• Help your child discover an enjoyable activity outside of school. This can be sports, art, music, or volunteer work – anything that helps your early adolescent feel accomplished and proud.

• Hug and praise your child for behaving well, being polite and trying hard in school.
• Set reasonable and consistent limits. When using discipline, the priority is to teach and protect your child, not to punish.
• Even time-outs can evolve to the teen years. When your teen is upset you can suggest they remove themselves for a short time and return to constructively resolve the issue.
• You may want to have your child propose a consequence after they break an established rule. You may also allow them to participate in setting up rules.
• Be a role model for your child. Show your child how to use appropriate words when angry, advocate for your child in school and apologize if you make a mistake.

• Your child should brush his or her teeth twice a day, using fluoride toothpaste. Daily flossing is encouraged.
• Your child should see a dentist every six months for routine checkups.
• If possible, your child should wear a mouth guard during contact sports.

• Know who your child spends time with inside and outside of school. Know where your child is after school and what he or she is doing.
• Use sunscreen when spending time outdoors.
• A helmet should be worn when riding a bike, skiing, sledding, ice skating, horseback riding, skateboarding, and in-line skating. Riding an ATV is discouraged.
• Teach your child how to be safe with other adults. Encourage your child to tell you when a person or situation makes him or her feel unsafe. Explain that no one has the right to tell your child to keep secrets from parents.
• Warn your child about the dangers of cigarettes, alcohol, and drug use. Your child’s doctor can help with this conversation, but it is important for your child to know to come to you with any questions.
• If you have a gun in your home, ensure the ammunition is kept separately from the weapon and that both are kept safely locked away.
• The back seat of the vehicle is the safest place for children under 13 years old. All passengers should wear a seat and shoulder belt. Parents should serve as role models and always buckle up.